grandma shit on top of the toilet
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
