but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
