I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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