Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
