By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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