What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
