i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
