what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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