my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
