i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
