I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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