I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Its about making memories worth repressing
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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