Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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