i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start