You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
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All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
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wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?