And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things Theyâ€™ve Ever Seen In Public
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work