it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
this boner is exhausting
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
