you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
