i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
