marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
tell me about the fingering
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