Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
