I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
high people should be assigned attendants
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
