My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
