Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
