I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
