don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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