everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
