WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
