He uses pillows to masturbate.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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