i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Edward fifth and chaser hands
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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