it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
