I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
