Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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