Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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