Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
