ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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