Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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