Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
