1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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