No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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