I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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