it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
