She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
