The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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