I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
