just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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