well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's blow job season.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
