CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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