positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Damn victory sex feels great
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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