best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
All the doctor said was why
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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