Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Found your dick twin last night
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
