the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
