She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
it glows. i had to have it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
