there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
