Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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