I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
