I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
