according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
