sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
